Don’t Take My “Man”

There’s a lot to transitioning. And it’s as much about what you are giving up as what you stand to gain. On the one hand you are hopefully taking a positive step to becoming who you want to be but it’s not without it’s losses. After spending 40 years as a male it’s difficult to unlearn all of that. Body language, behaviours, the way you walk, sit etc are all different. And not always subtly. But the biggest changes are socially. Realising that what you want comes at a price. Such as the “Boy’s Night Out”. You can’t have it both ways really. Or realising that you have traded 3am walks home from a night out for something entirely more vulnerable. Or that you will be seen through different eyes than your male self was. None of which are complaints, just adjustments to be made. All in all, still worth it but as I’ve said before, this should really come with a bloody manual.

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Gotta Wear Shades

Something of a joyous day when  Ireland accepts same sex marriage after a referendum. We already had this in Scotland though. We didn’t need a referendum on it either. Best out of 3 at Rock, Scissors, Paper was good enough. But I’m still relieved that the world I live in is moving forward. Everyone should be equal. And today was another step closer.

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Potato Coquette

Had a short break from the blog. During which time I turned 42 and was actually quite busy just being. Definitely older, not necessarily wiser but surprisingly content with my lot in life. Which brings me neatly to a post about passing in public. Over the course I’ve done nearly everything possible in terms of female looks. I’ve done costumes, I’ve done skimpy. I’ve learned to be practical. And I’ve mostly learned to blend in. Although I can still startle the occasional unwary pedestrian. C’est la vie! Much of my experimentation was likely guided by unrealistic expectations that being a woman equates to being vampy all the time. But as I’ve settled in, I’ve come to accept that sometimes it’s ok to look like a bag of spuds. A co-ordinated bag obviously.

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Hey, I’m Doing Swell

It would finally seem that hormones are doing something noticeable. So Yay for hormones! Unfortunately it’s not something I was prepared for. Been on an increased dosage for about 2 months and yesterday threw up what I think is probably hot flushes. My temperature felt like it was through the roof last night. You generally aren’t sleeping on top of your blankets in May. Particularly in Scotland. This continued on and off throughout my working day today. More than a little distracting but right now, touch wood, I seem to be back to normal. I am fairly sure this wasn’t mentioned to me when I signed up. Or maybe it was. One thing is definite though. Always read the small print!

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From The Mouths Of Babes

Having quite a positive week so far. Back in touch with family I’ve not seen in some time. Came out of the blue and courtesy of social media. Which is amazing when it works. Was great to catch up and it was long overdue anyway. Highlight for me was probably the kids though. Got from “Are you a boy or a girl?” to “I like the Hulk/My Little Pony” in a staggeringly short time. Because kids don’t care and are pretty much always awesome if you tell them the truth. Also finished speech therapy today. Not totally finished by a long shot. But for now it’s just practice until I feel confident and sound less like a strangled duck. And 2 days into a 4 day working week. Since we don’t count Friday, I’d say that’s cause for celebration right there.

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Celebrity Death Match

Been a bit too lazy to blog this week but not entirely like nothing happened. About a month ago I asked the NHS for a new wig and this week they gave me a prescription for 4. Awfully nice of them. But more importantly, they also gave me a testosterone blocker. Which means I get to experience the full onslaught of oestrogen fairly soon. A little apprehensive but sort of excited too. I already have a new found ability to forget why I have just walked into a room for something. What other delights await? And very interested to see who wins in a fight between testosterone and oestrogen. Especially now testosterone has been slipped a Mickey. Ding, Ding! Come out fighting. And no punches below the belt!

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