Current Events

Heading into a weekend where I can’t shave at all. Bad times. That’s because I start electrolysis on Monday. Good Times. First of 15 painful sessions which should remove 60-90% of my facial hair. Can’t shave so they can take some baseline photos come Monday. Really quite excited despite the prospect of a couple of days in male mode ahead. Just ain’t doing bearded lady. No way, no how!

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Can you see what I see?

Let’s say you’re about to go fulltime or at least dip a painted toe in the water. I feel obliged to warn you that, initially at least, you should be prepared to weather just how rude the average man in the street can be. This can take a myriad of different forms. There’s open staring which is certainly disconcerting and maybe uncomfortable at times. Then there are loud exclamations about the validity of your gender within earshot. Another moment to savour. My personal favourite is when one person spots you and whispers to their friend. This precedes a hugely theatrical stretch/yawn so said friend can look over their shoulder and confirm “OMFG! There’s a tranny on the bus!!!!!”. Suck it up, it get’s easier over time. This is because you will get more confident, better at disguising your male features and just battle hardened really. You can also consider the option of giving them something to look at………..

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No man is an island

If you think you are going down the transition route, I’ll tell you for nothing that you aren’t going to find it easy without help. Which is easy for me to say as I had lots. I realise not everyone may be as lucky and I can’t imagine how difficult it would be on your own. By the time I rocked up to my first appointment at the gender clinic I was pretty comfortable as a woman. I got there by having a plan of sorts and, particularly, two willing female friends who took me under their collective wings. Although neither were actual angels, good as to me. From my referral to the clinic in January 2013 till my appointment in October that year, we did something different together every month. Simple things I do with ease now like shopping, lunch, dinner take on a different dimension when it’s your first time during the day and sunlight brings a scrutiny you might not expect. Except, it doesn’t really. During our first outings we were like deer in headlights till a few months in when it just felt like a girls’ day out. Still got the occasional stare but that’s for another post. In general though “if it looks like a duck and walks like a duck” then people see a duck. Or they are too worried about tonight’s dinner to give you more than a moment’s thought. But it’s still easier with help.

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Time goes by. So slowly.

The thing is, time moves relentlessly. I am already 14 months into a 24 month Real Life Experience. It’s slunk past me. Scarcely discernible. And yet, here I am, living successfully as a woman. With little of the drama I imagined initially. Sometimes people are just inordinately better than you ever suspected. And by that I mean randomly. Every bus driver/shop keeper/stranger that calls me “doll” or “honey” knows that I was a man. They still choose to meet me halfway. I have to love that and commend their mothers on their upbringing. And for the folk that gawp and stare? Let’s not get too “Hung Up” on that.

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Regrets, I’ve had a few…..


While most of the process has gone fairly smoothly, the thing I especially “ballsed up” was when to tell people of my decision at the beginning. I started telling people sometime in 2013. That year evaporated in front of me and the closer I got to my gender clinic appointment and then going fulltime, the further I was from telling the people that mattered most to me. This caused a significant amount of distress, disappointment and even anger for people I think the world of. If I had that time again, I’d do it better. I had a plan for everything else like work and the practicalities of daily life but not dealing with family and friends. Consequently I did it poorly and it will always be my biggest regret. Decided to make this an early post as it’s something that matters to me. That said, despite coming out late in the day to my nearest and dearest, it only served to show me the quality of the friends I do have. I have little idea of the shape this blog might take now. I expect it might be a little random depending on what aspects of transition come to mind. You have been fairly warned.

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Finally Done It

After around 14 months of procrastination I am finally starting a transition blog. I’ll keep my usual rants to Facebook and attempt to make this about what the Trans experience has been/is currently/will be like for me. So far it’s been hugely positive. But that’s been helped by the fact I have some of the best people on the planet in my corner. More to follow. Sometimes with photos.

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