Back. To The Future


Took a longer than anticipated break from the blog. Busy doing nothing really. Except just getting on with life. But I did find out something.

I found out that, all things considered, I am pretty happy with life. Shouldn’t have been earth shattering news to me but I hadn’t really noticed how good things were and are.

It took several folk telling me how much happier I seem these days, before it really registered that life and in particular my transition is going pretty well. I am more than content. I’m just a little slow to have let that sink in.

Nothing in my life is perfect though. It just doesn’t have to be. I have enough. And that’s all I really need for now. I’m a day to day sort of person. Not much for chasing grand plans. Even my transition follows it’s own amorphous, elastic road. I’ll get there when I get there.

But I’m in a good place right now. I’m happy and growing more confident by the day. I can’t remember the last time I felt that anxiety that used to make up about 90% of me. It must have slipped out unnoticed while I was busy living my life. Can’t say I miss it either.

But anyway, the blog is apparently back. And I’m in the right frame of mind to make the time for it. Hopefully it will reflect how positive life feels at the moment.Long may that continue. 


Staring Out To See

There is something truly satisfying about gazing out over a sun filled sea and letting your thoughts happen. Allowing whatever rolls in to just be. Regardless of where they take you.

Today’s song has soundtracked my wee week by the water. Albeit silently, in my head, an insistently pleasant earworm. I’ve heard it countless times but it’s the first time the words have ever stood out with such clarity.
“‘Cause I had nothin’to live for

It look like nothin’s gonna come my way”

Or how about

“Look like nothin’s gonna change

Everything, still remains the same”

Really never noticed the air of hopelessness before. It’s a song which always drifted over me  without really thinking anything. Possibly because of his velvet voice. But it’s a song which has always cheered me despite the lyrics I just finally took in.

And it’s a song which, sitting by the sea, brought me to how good my life is just now. There’s nothing wrong or at least nothing insurmountable. I’m happy. I’m healthy. And I more or less have everything I need. 

Which isn’t necessarily stuff, it’s mostly people. Without the people that matter to me things might be so very different. I’m incredibly lucky and have acceptance. It’s not something I take for granted. I should tell folk more how much it has meant.

And I should mix hormones and holiday posts more often. Things are good, there’s life to be living and unlike Otis, I ain’t got time to waste.