Slightly Wayward

Been a little bit distracted of late but here I am with just three and a half weeks to go till my surgery. That has swung around kind of quickly. Too quickly for me to experience any kind of panic.

If anything, I just feel hugely positive. All things are possible. And there is little wrong in my life. That’s really not a bad place to be taking this journey from.

But don’t think I’m not scared. I am. Not of surgery. Or the future as such. I’m scared of my recovery in the main. I wouldn’t be the first post op woman to be visited by depression. And although I kind of want a dog, I’m not planning on the black one. My life doesn’t have space for it just now.

I do worry about managing the weeks that lie ahead though. I’m not sure exactly how I’ll cope. But I’m hugely stubborn which might actually be a positive in this case. I don’t intend to give into anything and I have good people all around me. And the time before me to sit back, relax and just try to breathe. It’ll all be done soon enough. Blink and you’ll miss it 😉

Transition, Uncategorized

Season Of The Bitch

Really not looking forward to this week at all. Tomorrow I’m giving up smoking. And then on Wednesday I’m saying my Goodbyes to Oestrogen for a while and my Testosterone blocker for ever.

I find all of that a little scary. I’ve stopped smoking before. That was grim enough without the hormonal element. But I’m reminding myself it’s all for a good cause.

It’s just over 6 weeks till my surgery and that’s the reason for all of this. Stopping smoking is arguably one of the most positive outcomes I could aim for, even without the operation, and I have to recognise it would be better for me if I can stay stopped afterwards.

But a barrel of laughs it won’t be. I apologise in advance to my nearest and dearest as I hated trying to stop before. But I did and I can again. The main thing is that the countdown has started and that’s a good enough reason to make the change. God help us all!