A couple of days into 2017 and my first proper blog of the year. But I’m already feeling pretty positive this year. When I awoke on New Year’s Day and stumbled to the bathroom, it was basically a woman I saw looking back in the mirror. A slightly , perhaps even very, rough and bleary eyed woman I admit but even without makeup, I was still absolutely happy with what I saw.
Progress hasn’t always been easy for me to see. And so it’s pretty encouraging to start this year seeing what’s only visible when you aren’t particularly looking for it. Definitely a sort of can’t see the wood for the trees type of thing. But here I am, apparently already in a good place in 2017.
This will be the year that everything I have worked for comes to fruition. It’s almost impossible for me not to feel ludicrously positive as a result. I’m entirely sensible enough to know it won’t all be a bed of roses but it’s hugely satisfying all the same. Slightly over three years ago, I don’t know that I was ever sure that I would be able to manage life as a woman. It was just a properly scary prospect. And I don’t know how I survived those first few tentative months. Other than mostly being on autopilot and having had good friends, it’s a bit of a blur and the real difficulty has already started to fade from memory.
But here I am three years on, having done it all anyway. And despite the costs along the way, it’s been relatively worth it. I’m happy, healthy, occasionally sane enough (Tuesdays and every second Thursday) and for the most part my life is really pretty sorted. It’s all kinds of lovely to just realise that is the space you are living in. More so when you realise you’ve probably lived there for a while.
All that remains is the nuts and bolts of a mostly corrective operation. And that will come soon enough. But really just to be happy is a powerful enough thing. There is little more that I could legitimately ask of the world. And for once New Year New Me will have a ring of truth to it. I’m just looking forward to all the possibilities this year will bring. How sickeningly upbeat am I? Kill me now 😉