Transition

Clearly Not A Feminist Then

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A couple of somewhat new additions to my life have been sexual harassment and objectification. Quite often these happen openly in the street. As I wasn’t issued a manual for this journey, I was fairly unprepared for just how often. 

But at the risk of being kicked out of the union before I properly attain Womanhood, I’m going to admit something terrible right now. I sometimes quite like it.

Oh, I realise it’s entirely wrong, deplorable, etc, etc. But as a Transsexual Female, a part of me is fucking delighted just to be in the consideration. Every time it happens, it’s worth a small fist pump. Maybe even a l’il parade. I’m no oil painting but I am at least fulfilling the expectations of socially backward machismo on a reasonably regular basis these days. And it still feels like a Win if I am honest. Well, fundamentally shallow but honest.

In the cold light of day I obviously don’t agree with this sort of outmoded and unnecessary behaviour but as an unintentional yardstick, it serves a purpose. I’m somehow progressing, even if I don’t see it looking back all the time. And if I’m doing well enough to be inappropriately hit on? I’m sorry to you Sisters but I’m taking that all the way to the bank. And twice on Saturdays.

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Transition

Cloud Nine

It doesn’t really take that much to buoy my mood. Last week was a perfect example. Sometimes you are just unprepared for life to throw you a bone. And then it throws you a curve ball.

I am well used to public scrutiny and even vocal comment on my transition. Friday saw a different take on both for me.

Shortly after getting off a bus I was aware I was being followed. If it wasn’t during the day I perhaps might have been scared. But I’m from Glasgow, that doesn’t happen too often.

I took a usual shortcut down a lane to where I was visiting. It became clear I was still being followed. I bunched my right hand into the tightest fist I could manage and got ready to deliver one good punch and take off running.

And then I heard “Excuse Me”. I turned round and there was indeed a man behind me. But he simply handed me a scrap of paper and mumbled “phone me” or words to that effect. That is something I wasn’t prepared for.

Having been on the other side of this equation, I know it takes a bit of courage for a guy to just put himself out there like that. But I never imagined I would be on the receiving end. Particularly so randomly and unexpectedly.

Nothing may come of this. Our actual conversation is a whole other post to it’s self. But in terms of a confidence boost, my rocket has reached the moon. For a guy to take the chance to give me his number in broad daylight is a new thing for me. And even if comes to nothing, it still took a few hours to touch back down to earth. Because life is still throwing unexpected bonuses at me. And I don’t know that I’m ready for them always. But sometimes it’s just quite good. Who doesn’t like hearing that someone likes them?

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