I’ve pretty much been as high as a kite since I got my surgery appointment confirmed. Things really couldn’t be much better than they are. Everything seems to be finally coalescing into something real.
People have since asked if I’m going to go through with it. It’s a reasonable enough question to have of me. Well, I think it is. If you have never questioned your own gender then I imagine it must still be hard to wrap your head around. I’m not sure I can offer a concise soundbitey explanation either.
But here goes. Surgery is just the thing that makes sense of the last four years for me. It’s been a ridiculously long process. And it’s been as painful and difficult as much as it has been enlightening, life affirming and an education.
And I’m ready to do it now. Not that there aren’t sometimes doubts. Of course, I’m not reckless. But surgery won’t make me any different really. It may be a cosmic mindfuck in terms of replumbing but I’ll still just be me. Only happier. One might hope. It’s just occurred to me as I end this post that I should have gone with Dancing On The Ceiling. Damn it!