Loaded Questions 

So, I finally got my appointment to see the surgeon. Friday 16th June at the hugely convenient time of 8.30am. It feels like an enormous milestone though. Like reaching land after drifting aimlessly through a shipwreck of a life.

I have hundreds of questions that need answered by the surgeon.  And a few for myself to boot. “Just what is it that you want to do?”. Now that it’s time, it’s actually as scary as fuck. There is no other expression that covers it.

In a matter of months I could have had my operation and be adjusting to the new life I’ve been clawing the path towards for an age. And I’m a little bit terrified.  Although totally ecstatic at the same time. 

I’m still of the opinion that it is sensible to be scared. I’ll never do anything so life altering again.  Short of becoming an astronaut. But it’s all systems go. The answers are within reach and a clock has started ticking down.  Kind of can’t wait 🙂


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