Somewhat sadly, if you happen to be transgender, it is unlikely you are a total stranger to loss and particularly estrangement. It shouldn’t be like that but the harsh reality is that it often is.
I’m one of the lucky ones. Barring absentee brothers, my old life pretty much survived intact. I like to think that’s because I’m a good judge of character. But that’s nonsense too. I just was lucky that the friends I chose turned out to be real ones. I never really ever thank them enough for pulling me through.
But to find yourself estranged, ostracised or on the outside is a pain that’s difficult to bear. The title of this post contains the best advice I have to offer to you. As painful as it may be, forget them and pick yourself up and just move on with life.
If your world won’t come with you then make it a better one. Populated by better people around you. That get you, even if they don’t fully understand your journey, and hold you up when you’re not sure you have it in you.
Loss is awful and traumatic but nothing lasts for ever. Where you choose to sit with it is up to you. You can wear it as a bitter badge of honour or you can park it on the off chance it isn’t permanent. That’s usually my default position. And if you get the chance to resolve it? Start over.
And if it never resolves? They weren’t meant to be in your life. They frankly don’t deserve to be either. Keep your chin up. And see above.