Will I Be Able To Play The Piano?


So, Tuesday’s news has just about sunk in and I now have a tornado of about a thousand questions that I need answered. 

Most are hugely practical if I’m honest. I find myself wondering about a diverse range of things. Post operative continence, the reality of dilation on a daily basis, the statistical occurrence of complications following surgery.

And in case anyone thinks I haven’t really thought this through, I’ve even considered the possibility of dementia. How horrifying would it be to regress to a point I forgot I was Transgender? I’ll take my chances but this has always been an informed decision in any case. No operation is without risk.

The biggest single question might surprise you. Do I need surgery in order to be happy? The answer surprised me. Emphatically no. I’m not looking to be fixed in any way. It would just be nice for inside and outside to match really. That’s how simple it all boils down to.

The best part of my week though was being able to tell the people that matter most to me the news of my unexpected progress. But whatever I decide once I have answers to my questions, I very much feel I am supported. I can’t put a price on that. And if I haven’t ever thanked you to your face? Trust me, it’s a given. I’d have been lost without you. And I need that help even more now. I am not an island. Despite my attempts to the contrary. But to get back to the positive, it’s nearly a new year and possibility looms large. I hope it’s fantastic for all of us. Keep your fingers crossed.


2 thoughts on “Will I Be Able To Play The Piano?

  1. my first openly trans friend was f2m, and i never knew him prior to hrt. he never had surgery and i dont think he wanted it– he was happy with the hormones (they were a wild success, there was never any doubt in me that he was male. even after he came out, it went well beyond “passing.”)

    i dont know if he really had “gender dysphoria,” i think he just didnt want to be stuck in a female body. he seemed incredibly happy to get to the point where not only he could pass (even in a tshirt with a giant trans symbol) but even showing off the parts he was born with couldnt convince anyone he was female, even though he was afab. so i will certainly support anyone that wants to get surgery, but if they dont– its not just that its ultimately their decision, its that surgery definitely isnt the universal point where the body becomes re-gendered. this guys body clearly became a mans body before that (as far as he and i can tell– and im cis-), and he seems very content with it. obviously thats going to be the answer for some people. good luck with any decisions you make.


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