Get Your Freakout On


Got my first opinion for surgery this week. And a very straightforward referral for my second opinion. Essentially everything I’ve been working towards coming to it’s culmination. A step closer to seeing the surgeon.

And now things are growing really real. Because surgery is suddenly more viable than ever. And it’s within my grasp. Potentially next summer which is amazing and also utterly daunting in equal measure.

I was asked what surgery would do for me. You might be surprised to learn that absolutely nothing was my answer. Although absolutely everything is equally true. But an operation in itself solves nothing. It will only mean that In and Out finally match. But that’s only the beginning in my book.

Surgery will bring fresh challenges to be met. But having had surgery will convince nobody that you are a woman. That battle is fought in your own head and I’m over it. I need nobody to approve my femininity going forward. I’ve more than earned being myself. And that’s a good place to be.

I’m content to sit back, relax a little and wait for my second opinion. It’s just another little step. I’m told it will be within three months. Could be six and that would still be fine. Which has surprised me as I expected a freakout of epic magnitude around this point. But no, it’s OK. Everything is on target and I can just about take in how far I’ve come. Transition is a sort of journey but I’m glad I’ve come to realise, it’s a marathon, not a sprint.


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