Taken my lead from someone else today, from an article about the reality of everday life as a Transgender Woman. It grew out of an earlier Facebook post this week. Because it struck a chord. If you fancy reading the article, the link is below. It’s interesting, informative and entirely accurate.
But to me it’s tinged with sadness and an air of defeat. There is so much more to the world and the people in it. And to allow an awful minority to conceal that is a mistake I’d advise against. Transphobia is a real and often daily part of my life. It is, however, protectively framed by the decency and goodwill of the silent majority who simply allow me to live my life unhindered. And it is this population where your allies are to be found.
There are parents, siblings, friends and whoever you call family that come with you through transition. There are colleagues who manage to adapt to a new you. There are strangers who silently let you know that they are ok with you. And then there are the inquisitive ones with a million questions that you perhaps might have an answer to. I choose to celebrate that instead. The other ones? With a problem about it? Fuck ’em and the horse they rode into town.
To give the Very Ignorant any power over you at all is, in my opinion, the worst mistake you can make. Your value does not lie in them. There is strength to be found in rising above it. And although it’s easier said than done, it is far from impossible. Perspective is the key and the best advice I have to offer.
You just cannot please all of the people all of the time. But you can get on with your life using the supports that the world offers up to you. I’ve mentioned before that I have more pity than anger for any would be attackers. They do manage to make me feel sad though. Just no longer for myself. Ignorance is a curse.
I get to live the life I wanted, with or without their permission. That’s a position of power, not the weakness they might perceive at first glance. They see an easy target I’d imagine. But if they actually looked closely, they’d see my head was up. Casually giving not one fuck. They are a passport sized photo in the album of my life. Soon becoming faded and tattered, like any unpleasant memory of them.
Somewhat unfortunately, I don’t know how to really explain how to get there in your head. But if I had to make an attempt, I’d say we’ve got to hold on to what we’ve got. Actually, that’s what Bon Jovi would say but my point remains the same. You take the support and the positives the world gives you and allow them to sweep you through any nasty undercurrents. And that allows you to cope. Simple but effective. This has been a longer rant than originally intended but my world is better than the one in the article. It’s worth standing up for.