Transition

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Nearing the end of my facial hair removal and only at the start of my pre-surgery treatment but finally beginning to get a real sense that my journey is moving forward with some certainty about where I’m headed. My transition to date has been hugely confidence building though, if only a little slow to happen. But you can trust me that there is no social situation you will ever be unprepared to cope with after IPL on your special place as a result. This is an immutable truth.

I’m looking at around another 18 months of hair removal before I’m anywhere near being cleared for surgery though. Seems like an eternity when the temptation is to “floor it” and head for the finish line. But maybe all that extra time is a good thing.

It allows me more than enough time to think. Pro’s, con’s and importantly consequence all figure in my thoughts. My resolve can vary wildly in any 24 hours. Not that I ever find myself thinking I’m not doing it. Just that I’d be lying if I said I had never been scared in faltering moments. Of course I’m scared, I’m not an idiot. It is indisputably the biggest change I will ever make.

Trepidation is not a bad thing though. It means I’m thinking all of it through. Thoroughly. I’m forever haunted by my last ever conversation with my brother, “You’ll regret it.” rings in my ears. Regret being myself? I just don’t believe that could ever be true. As difficult as his words are to shake.

So moving forward I defiantly am. And given just how fast the last two years have been, I’ll be roaring up to meet the surgeon before I know it and then it’ll be full speed ahead. Except it probably won’t. It’ll be at least another six months after that. Between meeting the surgeon, getting funding and getting an operation scheduled, I will always be a passenger in this process. That’s ok though, happy to make a few pitstops along the way.

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