More than a few times recently I’ve either had Transphobic abuse myself or been aware of it’s impact on others. For me, it rolls off like the proverbial duck and water. But others are not so lucky.
The one thing that helps me to do this is a sense of humour. I am lucky enough to have a circle of friends where scathingly accurate character assassinations are the norm amongst us. I thank God for this as it has made me pretty resilient to casual criticism.
I have managed to deflect most transphobic comments so far by defaulting to humour in just about every situation. For example, a group of men in a bar insisted their friend wanted my number. They were told I was pretty sure their friend did not want what I was selling. Could possibly have done without inferring I was some sort of hooker but it had the desired effect. They learned I answer back and don’t take myself that seriously. We shared a laugh and then I spent hours just talking with them and hopefully dispelling some of their preconceptions.
Ok, that’s not always possible but then complete indifference is a valuable weapon too. Nothing seems to annoy the lesser spotted bigot more than being entirely ignored. If you know what and who you are then even the most vocal idiot is unable to take that from you. Or define you in any way. As long as you can hold your head up and keep walking tall, you’ll have the last laugh. And if you must, you can give them something they really don’t want. Your pity.
On a separate note, I can’t not mention the loss of David Bowie earlier this week. He pushed gender boundaries at a time it was less possible than today. His contribution to music was exceptional but he also made it significantly easier for us to express ourselves differently than accepted norms. A one man cultural tsunami, the world is a sadder place without him. Still, to return to the point of this post, your mother’s got a penis!