Even horrendous weeks come to an end. I’m currently struggling to beat some sort of kidney infection. So not really been a particularly great week as such. But finally, this one is all but done. All that’s left is to put some memories to bed. In general though, November has not been a favourite month of mine for a number of years. But it’s always a time I’m nostalgic and sometimes that’s a good thing. Even my recent music choices reflect a time life was just really good and so much simpler than now. Today’s is from 1979, the same year my AWOL youngest brother was born and our family made complete. I’m thinking of adopting it as a theme tune.
But it seems I do spend a great deal of time thinking about what my old life was. Do I really miss it? It’s fair to say, I miss important parts of it daily. Mostly absent family and occasionally friends whom life may have taken to the sidelines. But with equal contentment I’m able to look to what life currently is and will be.
And what that is, is simply different but full of promise. I’m always entirely aware of how much I have to be grateful for, so reminiscing is not remotely painful. Sometimes it’s incredibly soothing. And it holds it’s own answers.
It’s allowed me to cement a decision that I’m really definitely doing this. Irrespective of whether I get back the things I seem to have lost. Gone is not forgotten however. And I’m left feeling reasonably positive about everything as it happens.
There’s a future that I want and I’m now closer than ever to having it. It’s touchable and vividly bright on the horizon. But because that particular ball gathered speed quicker than I ever dreamed, I can easily forgive some people not being able to follow it’s trajectory. It’s a pretty big ask of anyone.
So here I am, regardless, doing it with a full head of steam. And there’s comfort in just being able to make the decision. It’s the one thing I can control. Whether the things left in the past ever catch back up to me is a different matter. As long as there’s space allowed for them if they do. Never say never. That’s how self fulfilling prophecies come to pass. I prefer “Que Sera, Sera” as a way of thinking. It’s a better fit and one which allows for everything to come full circle eventually. Glass full and all that jazz.