Late October 2015 and I find myself nearing the end of my 2 year Real Life Experience stage of transition. Been doing a lot of looking back to when I started but also a lot of looking forward to where I am going. For starters, I’m a great deal more confident and just generally more comfortable in my own skin these days. This cannot be a bad thing. The confidence thing crept up on me really and I can’t claim to have had any kind of a plan which got me here. But things are not the same as the place I came from.
In the 2 years I’ve been a full-time female, I’ve learned how to brazen it out under public scrutiny, delivered presentations and training on welfare and benefits issues and grown very relaxed about how my gender is perceived in general. It is what it is. I’ve learned to be grateful for what you have and not to obsess over what you have not. Some of this I didn’t realise until I was asked to do an exercise at work. The sort of thing where you rate areas of your life from 1-10. Pretty surprised to find that there is nothing I can score at less than 8. Which is less than helpful in an exercise about how you can improve things but unfortunately it turns out my life is pretty satisfactory. Damn it!
Armed with this new found confidence and the knowledge that things are actually pretty good, I’ve decided to up the ante. I have my first ever job interview as a female next week. And although every other interview I’ve ever had caused me considerable anxiety, this time I’m ready for a challenge and to hopefully change things up a bit. Without fear. The rest of my weekend will be spent preparing something towards that but another first is that this time it’s 95% written before I even start to type. Definitely feeling that I’ve come a long way in a relatively short time.
So there you go, turns out didn’t need a wizard or a yellow brick road to find some courage.