“Whatever happened to Fay Wray?
That delicate, satin draped frame
As it clung to her thigh
How I started to cry
Cause I wanted to be dressed just the same”
This blog was briefly highjacked by my holiday. But it’s primarily about transition. So let’s get back to that with something not even my friends likely knew.
I’m not sure exactly when but I’ll hazard a guess at 10 to 12 years ago, I found myself in a gay club in Glasgow. There was a particularly cool cabal of drag queens occupying a well lit corner. This was way before any real public emergence of my current self. I was both fascinated and terrified by this group. At face value, they had everything I was just then starting to accept I wanted. But I had no concrete idea of where to begin.
It took me hours to work up the guts to approach them for advice. A haughtier bunch of Uber Bitches I could not have encountered. Three of them did not even look at me. One, Queen Bitch if you like, glanced down regally for just a moment and spoke only three words, “Just do it”.
At the time I felt terribly wounded. I sort of hated her and her sickening air of superiority but looking back, it was the best, albeit shortest, advice I may have ever had. It eventually led to the development of an alter ego, Tara DeBoomdeay, and my first faltering steps to where I am now. So she may not have been the Fairy Godmother I dreamt of but she wasn’t the Wicked Witch either.
Regardless of fear of ridicule or rejection, you have to start somewhere though. But that’s not going to be easy for everyone, which I accept. I always had fantastic help along the way and I really can’t overemphasise the importance of good friends in my own journey. But just having someone to hold your hand is an immense thing. Although it didn’t prevent my early costumed attempts from being any less daunting, it gave me the confidence to start pushing a personal envelope.
Fast forward to today, my transition is going pretty damn successfully. I’d like to hope that now it might be me being approached by someone with questions. I already know my answer, “Where would you like to go first?”.