Transition

Socially Awkward

One of the most awkward things about being trans is probably pronouns. Moving my life from He to She was really pretty easy. Persuading the world to come with you is a different matter. From the offset I decided I wasn’t going to be too dogmatic about it and it’s served me well so far. People WILL call you He and Him, even your closest friends. This is usually because they are only human and has nothing to do with you at all. It’s a huge adjustment you have asked them to make. Give them a break. The wider world takes time too. For several months I got Sir in shops and frequently Mate, especially in taxis. You could let this annoy you. If you are trans and happen upon this page, my suggestion is don’t. Firstly, in small daily interactions, it may be a headfuck for a shopworker to see you presenting as female but hear a male voice. They are busy and likely trying their best. You’ll live and it’s unlikely they really meant to upset you, most of the time. In the case of Mate, it’s much the same thing. They may just not know how to address you. That’s ok. It’s better to focus on the fact that they are trying to be friendly, rather than presume you are being disrespected. It gets better. Slowly. After more than a year it rarely happens now. And it’s still ok when it does. What’s changed? Either people are massively more accepting than you might think or I stopped worrying. Either works for me.

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